``Way to Go....Memories stay on But Life moves on...**

Friday, December 29, 2006

many times i have fell, and many times i have gotten up. but did i ever realise that when i fell, is because i am not careful when walking, so it is not merely all about getting up, it is more than that. it is about how not to fall at the same fault again. learn not to be stumbled by the same rock that gets in ur way.

...maybe i am right...it is not a breakthrough in my life, but jus a repeat of ranting on and on... in fact in my life journey, when i am stumbled by a stone, i will pick up the stone and throw in ahead and later in my life i will be stumbled by the same stone again. when i did not learn from mistakes, i will be stumbled by the same problem again, the only way of preventing that is solving the problems, but when will i do that? it is only through solving the problems, then the stone will disappear from my journey. if i do not solve them i will only face more problems and get hindered more.

today is a boring day for me, internet is not really working due to the taiwan earthquake...i could have finish my report if i did not wander off to play games. school is reopening soon, and more challenges are awaiting ahead. i did not spend my holidays fruitfully, as i did not care to clear my doubts on studies, on music,on basketball, on my relationships with those around and most importantly the doubts of my abilities. how many more times do i have to fall in order to learn my lesson? i really sick of it, sick of feeling disappointed... play basketball with ernie ytd, i have long seen his passion for basketball, for his studies. but he never fail to inspire me. i really have to wonder, do i really have passion for basketball. if i do, why aint i improving if i put my heart in. hmm...ernie asked me to enter into medicine with him if we both could. i was speechless, cos i have doubts in myself. many times i have tried to focus and concentrate, but every time i wander off in boredom...

there are many things in my life i have regrets with... and i know feeling regretful is useless, it jus show that i have forgone things that mean a lot to me... what i can do now is ripping the opportunity of any regret that i may have, but i have lost many battles till now...i hate the feeling of being lonely, helpless and disgusted. how many times have i keep my feelings, thots and emotions inside? i jus couldnt get myself to... why do we have to put on a struggle when we know it is impossible? miracles are not always happening, at least not in my life...do i have to put on the struggle and move on? or jus give up and stay upon....if life is meant to be like this, this is not my life...

in times when i need someone to be there, there is only no one.

posted at 5:14 AM

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Sunday, December 17, 2006

Playing now is Our Story by Tension

hmmm...nice song...Our Story. All of us are writers of our own stories,stories of our lives.In the stories of our own,we decide how the stories will go by, of course there will be parts added in by our families,our frens and people and things around us. However, many of the things are decided by us, the writers of our stories. Some of the things are like making choices?Looking from another perspectives our lives are just books and we are reading our stories, deciding the route to take like those gamebooks where you have to make choices in your lifes and you will never know the outcome until you flipped to the page. Just like in our lives, we do not know the outcome unless we try,and we will know the outcome after we have tried. Unlike the normal gamebooks,these books we playing are filled with blank pages waiting for us to flip to and fill in.Time flies, and pages of our stories are slowly filled up as we make options in lives. And our stories will affect stories in other people lives so you too will play a part in filling blank pages of people lives.

So what do i have to fill in my story of life?I do not know and right now i just find out that i have wasted lots of pages slacking..lols.How many more blank pages do i have?What will my story turns out to be? A fairy tale where i always make unrealistic dreams? Or a boring story that was lacking of happiness, joy and twists? In our stories, we cant stick to what everyone takes, as we ourselves know what is best for us. Taking risks in lives is necessary at times in order to make ur lives more enjoyable and interesting. We know that sometimes we may fail, but often we are given time and chances to change for better. No one will have a smooth-sailing story, and no story is without failures in lives. As we change for better, we will notice that the story will start to get more interesting and more people will get to like it, and this is just like the pages start to get filled up with joy. In time we will need to start a new chapter, and end the previous chapter too. Just like life has got its starts and ends, everything will have an end,be it good or bad.

We have to learn to let go in times, in time when fren start to venture out our zone to achieve things in their lives, to spice up their own story. Every story covers love, frens and many more.
In my story, there has been a new understanding.Understanding the pages of past, the mistakes made. However, will i change is another matter=P...right now i just want to waste a few pages to ponder, will i ever change?So where is your story going?Do you know what story you want?Hope we will have an ending that we are glad with=)

11.49P.M. : Another day gone, trying to convince myself to start my biology hmwk...somehow i jus cudnt concentrate...the song " our story" is playing in my mind...i can write a story of my own...but what i want is a story of us, not me. A story with my family, my fren and you. But what i see now is jus emptiness, emptiness i never feel b4. why? i may know why but i just cant deal with it. I started to have a fear of night falling, cos i jus dun want to be alone. every night i have waited for u, every night i have waited for the stars to shine. On the other side, whoever is there feeling lonely,what can we do to relieve the feeling of emptiness and loneliness? how can i turn back the time,cos every minute every second matters. sometimes as i listen to song abt love, i feel love even though i may not love someone...maybe love for family and fren? what is the feeling of in love and out of love? do you love someone who is not ur family but u love him or her more than jus a fren? lols...

12.00a.m : The melody still go around in my mind...the melody makes me feel something abt the fate of meeting someone u love and the unwillingness u feel as u leave...walking down the long alleys in the dark, hoping that u will appear in the next turnabout. And memories of the future and hope of the past will never be complete without someone. As you hold her hands, the lamp posts along the alley lights up one by one as you walk by. lols

12.08a.m : My mind is still empty as i try to figure out how to start doing my biology report. Seeing frens coming online and going offline one by one, everyone busy doing somethings as i sit here doing nothing staring at the screen...when will i understand? when will i have the new breakthrough that i mentioned? how many tears are shed in my story? how many laughter and joy gained? i started to wonder...

I Will Find My Way,I Want A Different Way.After The Wind And Rain,There Will Be A Brand New Day.I Will Find My Way,I Want A Different Way.Nothing Will Stop Me Now,No Matter What They Say.

posted at 1:33 PM

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Friday, December 15, 2006

hmm my pri sch maths teacher once said to me " i need students who are hardworking and has the right attitude towards learning, not students who are intelligent and dont treat studies seriously..." ....erm i not trying to say i smart la...the point is i always have the wrong attitude towards studies....i had been doing fine all this while in my life even though i dun really work hard....is it due to luck?, my studying methods? or am i smart? my fren has been saying me smart though i really isnt....a smart ppl wun have the wrong attitude for studies...

i faced a setback this yr, during my jc1 common test...my results was one of the worst in all my years of studies....and the greatest disappointment i ever brought to those who believe i can do it....i dunno why.... i have been thinking today....have i really have the right attitude before in studies? let's not say studies, but other things as well...when i promised someone that i will help, did i really give my best in helping them? if only i dint promise them, they could have gotten better help from someone else? isnt it more of a hindrance than a help?

hmm... i think back the seventeen yrs of my life...maybe fourteen, cos first three yr of my life i guess i dun really remember..=P...did i ever give all i could and try my best before giving up?i guess i try harder when i was young....i try harder to learn to walk, no matter how many times i fell...i finally learnt to walk...but in the later yrs,where i start going to school , where the real learning journey starts...did i ever look back and say i have no regret cos i give my best....this teacher also make me learn one thing...as long as u try ur best, even if u fail at least u know u have no regrets...maybe u can try harder or think abt what can be done better like changing the study methods....but if u pass without trying hard, u had the real failure..cos u fail to achieve the best that u can achieve...u dint try,u do not know the best outcome, u are just one who is satisfy is getting a pass....compare to one who try hard....u cant go further than him cos u cannot accept setback..in a nutshell..u r jus weakling...

today i went to play basketball, and these concepts still linger in my mind...and someone once told me...if u want to play basketball, play it properly and give ur best...if not forget about holding the ball...it may sounds serious but if u seriously have the passion in playing, dun u want to be good?let's not say best, cos one cant probably do the best in everything, but at least u mus go the furthest that u think u can, that u think u want..and that u think u have not let urself down...

hmm...how many times have i have the mindset in mind that i JUS have to complete my homework? how many ppl have been doing homework for the sake of doing? did u always have in mind that as u do revision u have learn a new thing or understand a concept better?studying is not for exam, is to learn...everyone has been able to say this, but howmany can actually do it? how many can actually enjoy themself when studying? and how many can view studying as a blessing instead of a burden? even though life is not all about studying but for everything in ur life the concept is similar, is so simplistic that u never know it cud be...right now i may seem to understand, but do i really understand is a thing to ponder, cos only thru pondering that we will learn...learn the right, learn the wrong and learn the right from the wrong...how many times have i said i will work hard? wil this time be jus a repeat of the history or a new breakthrough in my life? only thru stretching ur limits, then u will know where u stand and reach for further heights, when u do so u have once again beaten urself...

~Being intelligent is having the potential to shine, being wise is to maximise the potential to achieve what u know you can and want~ Anonymous

I Will Find My Way,I Want A Different Way.After The Wind And Rain,There Will Be A Brand New Day.I Will Find My Way,I Want A Different Way.Nothing Will Stop Me Now,No Matter What They Say.

posted at 10:13 PM

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Thursday, December 14, 2006

bad impression of myself.....lols....frenship started with a lie....frenship in the risk of ending with a lie...

hmm to two of my fren out there...really wanted to apologise sincerely for telling a lie....erm jus wanna keep it within us....cos i am too ashamed to face it ....lols? ok i jus told one of them the truth....and this fren forgive me.... but i jus somehow feel even more guilty and bad.....how much trust they had in me and yet i misused it...hais....it really took me great courage to admit it....cos i scared of losing you....i shudnt had done it if i really cherish our frenship....but i shudnt admit it too if i dun cherish them....this has been bothering me for half a yr....i jus have to face it now....my frens have told me these r minor things...but to a true frenship it isnt....am i saying it cos i want to explain myself?no i dun....i jus wanna say it out right now cos i owe an apology...i dun need explanation...it is jus my fault....disappointment u have for me...i guess i jus not a gd fren after disappointing them one after one....maybe i really deserved to be a loner....where i will hurt no fren....soon i guess i will put a post for every one of my fren apologising to every single one of them i can remember...or i feel i have to apologise....sorry is not the best word to use but the only word i can use....will i make them less willing to trust anyone further?making them think that hypocrites are all around like what sharon's blog has said? ...hope not cos rotten apples are not so easy to come across....

i am too shy to ask, i am too proud to lose and i am too ashamed to ask for forgiveness...

posted at 1:06 AM

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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

hmm....listening to westlife songs agen lols....and zui jin....and more...while lying on the bed....

wad is music to me? haha dunno leh....one of the most important part of life? but sadly i dunno any musical instrument....and i also no musical talent...actually i quite tune deaf also lols...wadever la....dun care...jus love music....imagine a world without music....waa how boring life will be.....no music is like living in a world without life liao lo...lols....music seems to lead me to thinking...as i mention before...actually music never fail to brighten up my life....cos every song seems to tell a story....when i was young i need bedtime stories....but now what i need is a gd piece of music.... music have many components...the melody, the lyrics and dunno what la...i also no musical knowledge one.....all combines together and a new story is written...actually it serves better than telling the story...cos there is not only words to bring out the emotions...there is also the musical component.... and also the tune the singer is singing...different singers have different ways of telling their stories and also using different technique to beautify the storie....and in addition the music videos serves to let ppl visualise the whole story or the scenes.....what a great invention!!! i love it!!!lols

and when u look at the lyrics, some are so beautiful, jus like another form of poetry. hmm and thru the lyrics u will thot of what each line means and how each line fits into the song....and how the whole song flows....lols such an interesting entertainment....listening and deciphering and also finding the composing style...u will notice a great difference style of composing between jay chou..david tao and lin jun jie and other composing singer...but somehow it is hard to describe the difference though...is worse when u dunno much abt music like me lols....

wonder how ppl compose music...is it thru thinking of the tune inside the mind first then write it down? or jus playing an instrument agen and agen seeing how it flows...hais=(....why i dunno....lols...wadever....anyway composing will be very fun...if only i know...cos u r expressing something beyond what 3 dimensional thing can express....lols...cos u inspire...hmm

i shall start with learning guitar lols...even though i got none .... but hope i can learn on my own...cos i wanna know how hard it is by learning on your own and if i give up half way means that i dun love music that much afterall and when i pick it up agen...i will love music more...and thru these giving up and picking up i will love music more and more=) though will waste a lot of time lar lols...

but first i need to learn note reading... which i give up last time or i dint even start=P ok whichever the case it is.... jus stop blabbering and get some hands-on work lols...wadever it is...i jus love music ...even if it is jus the love to listen to music=)

At night,as the world begins to drift into the dreamland...another world is jus beginning to awake... As i wander alone in the lonesome nights, the other part of my brain is just abt to unveil...night is the time when i thot of things that i wud never thot of in the days...night time is the only time that i am closest to the nature,to the world free of ppl... however is the time where loneliness is my best companion...and reflections are the best games played...why is the nights full of stars? lols...why is the nights so quiet yet awaking? why is the night always related to sadness, loneliness and not the day?why do i have to face the nights and not the days?why do fears come only at nights and not the days? why do i seem to have more nights than days? lols...probably hallucinating...however in days i feel solitude and lonely even with ppl around...lols...day after day...night after night....time passed away...

I Will Find My Way,I Want A Different Way.After The Wind And Rain,There Will Be A Brand New Day.I Will Find My Way,I Want A Different Way.Nothing Will Stop Me Now,No Matter What They Say.

posted at 8:47 PM

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Tuesday, December 12, 2006

human is kind by nature? lols...hope so

is human really kind by nature? hmm, however if u think there are so many criminals even if the law is so stringent...wont it be worse without these laws? hmm ....interesting.....human is an interesting animal.... however, when you think in term of our daily lives, with those frens....there is no rule for u to be kind to ur fren or vice versa...however i do believe that ppl do cherish each other...does that mean anything? everything has it both sides, there are ppl who are blinded by desires, hatred and jealousy.....if these world are not governed by law, i guess human will not be kind but ruthless... cos u are not given a chance to be kind....imagine ppl going around killing each other....u will be killed if u dun kill the person who wants to kill you....you kills for the sake of killing....without laws...human are just animals....however if this so, wont human be extinct during stone age?
do education and civilisation help to change our human nature? i dunno, but what i do know is that they do change ur thinking.....sometimes better, sometimes worse......it depends on how you tend to look at it...ok enough of this....i guess no one knows human true nature....

hmm....getting sick easily in these hols....many days without bball....many days without homeworks....i am now lying on the bed typing while yawning and yawning....hmm listening to westlife songs.....now playing is "How Can I Change The World".....hmm how can i change the world, cos i sure i cant change ur mind....dots....if i cant even change ur mind, i can forget abt changing the whole world....hmm lols....westlife songs really nice la...so long liao ...i still like them whenever i listen...ok going to rest le....dun talk le....enough blabbering...

I Will Find My Way,I Want A Different Way.After The Wind And Rain,There Will Be A Brand New Day.I Will Find My Way,I Want A Different Way.Nothing Will Stop Me Now,No Matter What They Say.

posted at 10:15 AM

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Monday, December 11, 2006

hmm...slightly better now after sleeping for like two and a half day?....first thing in the morning, come up and check out on my fren's blogs and find out their doing...=) first thing in the morning signed in and kena one of my fren scold...sian-_-....jus trying to make things better , but no matter which way i choose , i still screw it=(...sorry to my another fren....u may think i am a stupid idiot....but i did try to help....hais....my fault i know....hais...dunno why complaining here...aiya sian la...he must be very fed up with me liao....hais...sorry lor...... i dint noe 'HE' will do that also...a bit disappointed too...hais ... wadever la...my fault in the first place.... i guess my attitude showing up a bit liao.... heck care la... no extra time go bother these things liao...headache....dying soon liao la....no matter u believe or not...i jus trying to help clear things out.... firstly i jus state U as an example while talking with HIM, and then when talking to U,i jus merely mention the conversation with HIM.... and now both side(both U and HIM) also buay song me...gd lor....everything my fault lor.... maybe i am trying too hard...lols...wad can be more screwed than my life?lols.... getting used to it liao la....whoever not happy with me jus say.... i wun say anything... i jus wanna noe what more did i upset ppl with....i not saying it with sarcasm that it is my fault...i jus saying it with a sense of helplessness...IT IS REALLY MY FAULT, I SAY SORRY LIAO...WHAT MORE CAN I DO?

I Will Find My Way,I Want A Different Way.After The Wind And Rain,There Will Be A Brand New Day.I Will Find My Way,I Want A Different Way.Nothing Will Stop Me Now,No Matter What They Say.

posted at 12:24 PM

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Friday, December 08, 2006

hmm...ok another topic today.... loneliness....do everyone has the feeling of being lonely sometimes in their lives? has u ever think what kind of person u r like in ur frens' heart?hmm....lonely....physically or mentally? most of the time i guess i am mentally lonely.... when u r physically lonely, u hope for someone to be there...but there was none..... mentally lonely..even if someone is there u still feel lonely....deep in ur mind, heart and soul...why? cos someone is not there? cos something is lacking between ur frens? or is it cos u choose to be lonely?...i have no idea....i guess i jus like to be alone sometimes... living in the world of my world?

i have tried times to socialize more with frens , to find more frens....however, the harder i try, the worse i feel...haha....however some ppl i dun even have to try , but naturally i will jus like to talk to them.... is it something wrong with my attitude?... lols... many ppl has give a name of as boy (anti-social boy), i guess i jus need to overcome the blockage in my thinking , my heart....no one is perfect, so why not try to accept ppl weakness as long as they are sincere... i guess a lot of times, i am jus too lazy, scared to have fren, i dunno why , cos in my heart i am suspecting will i treat them with my sincerity or jus knowing them jus in case we need their help?

however, when we ask our fren for help, it is okay,as we help each other... but if i make a fren and think of using him b4 i befriend him , most of the time i chose not to.i have no idea is my thinking abit weird and abnormal...but i have frens who had been make use by others and i experienced several times....i jus hate the feeling of betrayal, distrust and backstab and being used.....i guess ppl will tend to talk behind ppls back...even i do...but i do question myself....why do i do so?

do i do it with evil intention of ruining one reputation?hope no....but most of the time i jus say without thinking or merely in a jking manner, even right in front of the person face, i will sometimes talk with sarcasm...hais... i really dun mind ppl doing that to me...so i always thot that it is ok for frens to talk with sarcasm...but i am wrong...it does hurt one feelings...i have made frens cried, i have lost fren....and many ppl tell me to use my brain when talking.... i guess that is where my fear of talking to ppl, especially girls...cos i hate to see girl cries... i have made girls cry, make boys cry.... the sense of guilty always remain....did i really rub salt on their wounds?i dunno...i really dint mean too...

i guess sometimes i am jus acting righteous and full of principles? i dunno....even when i think so, i jus keep on sticking to it.... what's wrong with me?lols...will i ever change? i hope so....being more flexible and use my brain....think b4 i talk...but wun it be tiring to think everytime b4 u talk?i have nooo idea....hmm....what shud i do? lols.... i really will try harder, i will .... i guess i shud jus change my way of talking...cos even my cousin is doing in my way too...i see my shadow lurking in his eyes....he is getting more sarcastic, and he says ppl start to dislike him....hope he shall not be another of my kind lols....stop right where it is necessary....

why do ppl have to put on a false front?acting strong when u r not....acting kind when u r not....acting for the sake of seeking attention.... acting u like someone when u do not....cheating ppl feelings, cheating others' feelings..... do u feel happier? or do u feel more miserable? but neither way is the way out cos when ppl put on a mask when facing u, u will be in disadvantage when u be truthful, and more miserable things will come.... hais....i hate it....guessing the thots and feelings and intentions of others....

however, now to those who i know longer and better.... i take the risk of thinking i have understand them enough.. so i think i dun have to guess it cos i know what exactly is it all abt when seeing their actions and expression...but most of the time i choose to trust them since i already know them for so long....cos if i dun trust u, u wun be in my life....am i doing the wrong thing of guessing ppl thots?

if ppl are putting a false front, will they be more sad when i expose them and tried to help them? shud i do it, shud i be so nosey?.... but sometime being nosey can save one's life and be a great help to them, but this is not always the case....i have experience both situation b4, so if i do ever try to help..pls dun be saddened or annoyed....cos i am jus trying to tell u i want to help,cos u mean a lot to me....if i dun care for u, i wun even care how r u feeling, right? lols....

I Will Find My Way,I Want A Different Way.After The Wind And Rain,There Will Be A Brand New Day.I Will Find My Way,I Want A Different Way.Nothing Will Stop Me Now,No Matter What They Say.

posted at 12:46 AM

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Thursday, December 07, 2006

hais....i jus disappointed one of my fren....sorry....i dunno what to say le....beside sorry...another mistake made.....i am so disappointed in myself too....hmm...shall be better next time...in my character?...hais....me too is trying hard to be a better person....i must really apologise....seriously i am not a hypocrite too...pls believe in me....i jus dint really take ur feeling into account....i dint think of the possible consequences....i know u r angry.....i shall not ask too much....to anyone out there....or rather everyone....for wadever mistake i have made and it affected u...i shall apologise and say a "sorry'" to u....it may not mean a thing, or made a difference...but it is the only thing i can do right now....i promise to be better and of better understanding....i will think of ppl feelings more....i will....pls forgive me=)

anyway hope today is not another sleepless night...cos in sleepless nights i am always alone...the night is so silent yet awaking...lols...who shall be here for me except my shadow that lurks beside me?...lols....i cant blame anyone except myself lols.... who can be as weird as me? not sleeping in the night...lols...but i really cant sleep lols....luckily there is music that accompany me thru the night....if not the feeling will be so overwhelming and unbearable....haha....

hmm...after listening so many love songs hor i shall talk something abt love...since everyone is talking abt it...lols....hmm maybe love is not my game....i jus dun understand it.... ok jus share my views...maybe everyone dun even noe what is it lols... ok jus touch on this song zui jin....heard one of my fren say, the mv is abt a girl in love with a boy but the boy is sick....ok i shall share my views after i watching it....this boy hor i think gota terminal disease bah...then he purposely go find other girls to make her leave....cos maybe dun want be a burden to her? but last scene the girl drive the car.... i think she is going to kill herself together with the boy ba....is all these abt love? sacrificing urself?in the boy opinion... love is abt giving her happiness and not being a burden to her...enduring all the suffering on his own.... to the girl, love is abt being there for ur love , even dying with him....so when someone is going to die...which is the correct way to do? like the boy who tries to make the girl leave and enduring all the things on his own? or sharing it with ur love cos sharing it with her will make her happy, cos at least she is able to be there for u....have u ever wonder how she will react if she find out the boy is doing this for her? wont she be more hurt cos u r suffering alone...the sense of closeness is not there....hmm love love love.... in my opinion...both are ways of showing love but using different methods...giving her happiness and not suffering cos u cant bear to let her suffer, or letting her suffer with u cos u know she will be happy to be by ur side sharing ur burden, doing something for u....what u want, i cant give. what i give , is not what u want....lyrics is so true yet profound....love in actual fact is not jus giving love but also accepting the love that ur love gives...

I Will Find My Way,I Want A Different Way.After The Wind And Rain,There Will Be A Brand New Day.I Will Find My Way,I Want A Different Way.Nothing Will Stop Me Now,No Matter What They Say.

posted at 2:04 AM

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Wednesday, December 06, 2006

woohooo....nice basketball....

lols so happy play basketball again....wei en call me to play.... but so suay.... it rains right after i put down the phone sian...-_-... so we go houganag mall instead after the second call... then my parents call me to take umbrellas....diao lols...so i go give there...but waituntil when the bus come... no rain liao...but i keep on waiting cos scared rain come agen... then let wei en wait for half an hr...sorry pai sehx_x =P....lols then since no rain liao can go play basketball!!! lols then went back take basketball( my cousin left it here) so nice ritez? lols.... then cos jus rain mah... so nobody there except the lion dance ppl... lols....then see one of them so familiar but dint call him cos dunno his name... i think shud be a neighbour bah , or someone i play with b4 when i was young=P... lols.... then play abc and i lost twice=( so sianz.....of cos la...wei en leh...dun play play....my teacher leh..lols....actually hor i think hor he really gd la..teach a noob like me...lols.... without him hor, maybe i will still not touch basketball until now... lols so sian dint win... lols...but he say i improve liao.... so happy...i also think i improve liao leh...lols..so buai liao bye...lols...
nvm la...lols ...self encouragement is sooo impt lor....like my NJC classmate(valerie?) oops.... lols....ok la....hmmm....still love basketball most compare to table tennis and badminton...=P actually all not bad also...jus dunno why i like basketball more leh...hehe...
tml can buy basketball lo!! yays!!! so happy....i will jump up and hit the ceiling..... having my own basketball leh.... hehe...actually the one that burst is also mine but is rubber one...not so gd....oh before i forget...muz say....i won wei en in shooting horse once!!!why? firstly, cos he let me win one la i think, hehe. secondly, he also very bad choose those diffcult position want let me die, in the endncannot score also lols....lastly and most imptly..... i play serious one and i already improved a bit already lols...and also of cos la, cos i am gd mah=X hehe....tml gonna play basketball agen...hehe...sian dint touch my hmwk .... but nvm at least i finish maths already...hehe...but got blanks also...oops...wadever la...but really must work hard liao...cos maths leh....my fav and best subject in the past leh...actually now i like almost all my subjects...hehe but muz work hard le...although i say it since like primary school and dint really do it=P...no last min work liao!! no more hooking on computers!!! erm maybe just three hrs a day?? hehe... i got to cos studies is impt...
pray tml no rain, or jus rain b4 i go there...so ppl will not be there=Phehe....ok and jus one more thing....must train nafa liao ... dun wanna fail leh...cos if fail hor mus go in one month before the normal time which is like january... so that wud mean december lor?!! lols but actually i think go in early also no harm cos can train gradually in the one month...dun need chiong during the first three months of army training which is BMT if i am not wrong...imagine i put on army uniform, wahhh so suave lols... but hais.... i colour deficiency...maybe no shooting=( the nurse say one=( hais sad case...no shooting then? .... swatting the mosquitoes in the jungle?lols.... actually dunno why i seems to enjoy camping a lot.... like the NPCC camps that i have last time...so much fun!!!lols... hope NS will be fun....
so wad would my future be?a policeman that i wanna be since young? probably not since i got colour deficiency....but i got become npcc at least...the nearest i could go.... or a doctor that i aspire to be ever since i learn biology?..probably not cos the foremost criteria for medicine course is 4As and i have none....even if i have 4As.... it wud be hard with no attachment and H3 module....even if with a glimmer of hope....it wud be hard since i dun like to read....hais....so wad wud i be?a businessman that can made MUCH money?since i love money so much lols. a researher? so that i cud still do something related to biology?or a composer- cum- singer like jay chou, which i dream every day and night? lols
or something else that never come across in my mind? a lor mee vendor? a housing agent? or jus a normal office boy?or i dun even have a future? lols choy choy choy ... i will live to fulfil my dreams... live to achieve my goals...live to enjoy life more wit my family and frens... live to see my grandchildren running all around me or even great great....great great (infinite) grandchildren hehe....
life is full of twists isnt it?lols....and so many more wishes....basketball, piano , guitar, songs of my own,perfecting my singing lols....and many more.....and i have yet learn to be better, better than what i cud be, better than wad ppl never think i cud be....and also....

I Will Find My Way,I Want A Different Way.After The Wind And Rain,There Will Be A Brand New Day.I Will Find My Way,I Want A Different Way.Nothing Will Stop Me Now,No Matter What They Say.

posted at 11:59 PM

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Friday, December 01, 2006

posted at 1:14 AM

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