Thursday, December 14, 2006
bad impression of myself.....lols....frenship started with a lie....frenship in the risk of ending with a lie...
hmm to two of my fren out there...really wanted to apologise sincerely for telling a lie....erm jus wanna keep it within us....cos i am too ashamed to face it ....lols? ok i jus told one of them the truth....and this fren forgive me.... but i jus somehow feel even more guilty and bad.....how much trust they had in me and yet i misused it...hais....it really took me great courage to admit it....cos i scared of losing you....i shudnt had done it if i really cherish our frenship....but i shudnt admit it too if i dun cherish them....this has been bothering me for half a yr....i jus have to face it now....my frens have told me these r minor things...but to a true frenship it isnt....am i saying it cos i want to explain myself?no i dun....i jus wanna say it out right now cos i owe an apology...i dun need explanation...it is jus my fault....disappointment u have for me...i guess i jus not a gd fren after disappointing them one after one....maybe i really deserved to be a loner....where i will hurt no fren....soon i guess i will put a post for every one of my fren apologising to every single one of them i can remember...or i feel i have to apologise....sorry is not the best word to use but the only word i can use....will i make them less willing to trust anyone further?making them think that hypocrites are all around like what sharon's blog has said? ...hope not cos rotten apples are not so easy to come across....
i am too shy to ask, i am too proud to lose and i am too ashamed to ask for forgiveness...
posted at 1:06 AM
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